Trigamy
by alienyouthct
Summary: Xander had a bit too much to drink last night and wakes up a good deal less single than he started...
1. When Xander Woke Up

Title: Trigamy: Ultimate Edition  
Author: JoeHundredaire  
Rating: R/FR18.  
Pairings: Xander Harris/F/F/F, Satsu/F  
Disclaimer: With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors, actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, _Angel: the Series_, and all the characters associated with both belong to Fran and Kaz Kuzui. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
Summary: Xander had a bit too much to drink last night and wakes up a good deal less single than he started…  
Part Note: While my previous stories have been loosely divided into story arcs, this one will formally have 'parts' that separate sections of related chapters. Each chapter will have a "Joe's Note" with relevant information. Each part will have a 'Part Note' like this that likewise contains relevant information. As for relevant information for this part? Um… I can't think of much. Thanks for reading. Make sure you watch the 'Joe's Note' for each chapter for word of changes from the old version(s) so that if you want to try your luck at skimming, you'll still know what's going on. But I wouldn't recommend skimming. And not just because it's my story and I'm proud of it.

* * *

Joe's Note: According to Ernest Hemingway, the key to successful writing is to write drunk and then edit sober. The key phrase there being to edit sober. Or edit whatsoever. I forgot to do that last time I posted this story. Honestly, when I sit down and reread this, I'm a bit surprised nobody ever called me out on how bad parts of this were when it came to contradicting itself. Oh well. My benefit, I suppose. Anyways, thanks again for being back for this round and let's see if we can't do things a bit better - and more interestingly - this time around.

* * *

As consciousness returned to him in a rush of dull aches and throbbing pains, Xander Harris knew before he even opened his eye that the last thing he wanted to do was… well, open his eye. It was the same feeling that he'd had on the first day of high school so many years ago, upon waking on the day after he'd been forced to stake Jesse to save Cordelia - and who knew how many others - from suffering the same fate, on the day of his aborted wedding to Anya, and just before sliding out from under Anya on the day they marched into Sunnydale High School to do battle with The First. It was an undefinable but now unmistakeable feeling that once he opened his eyes - or technically just 'eye' now, thanks to Caleb the crazy evil preacher man - nothing would ever be the same.

So instead of trying to face the outside world, Xander kept his eye firmly shut, trying - and generally failing - to ignore the throbbing in his head. For a brief moment, he found himself wondering where exactly he was. Which was a good question, he figured, since he could feel that he was in a bed but had never gotten around to checking into his own hotel between when he arrived in Las Vegas and when he went out to explore. Not that he'd be irresponsible enough to reach Sin City and just take off into the wild neon yonder. He and his traveling companion had actually gone to what was supposed to be their temporary home away from home, only to have the woman at the front desk inform them in a British accent about as real as Madonna's that 3:27 PM was in fact not close enough to the advertised 4:00 PM check-in time to be acceptable, and that he would have to wait for another thirty-three minutes before they'd be ready to process his reservation.

There'd been some arguing at that point but Xander, not wanting to end up stuck in a room next to the floor's ice machine or something equally loud and sleep-disrupting, had pulled his traveling companion-slash-abductor away from the front desk and back out the doors. Denied rooms - at least for the moment - and neither of them a fan of inactivity, the pair had struggled to come up with something to do for at least a half an hour, if not more.

The solution to their problem had been obvious as soon as they'd walked out the door: exploration. While they were in one of the smaller hotels, there were numerous massive 'hotel and casino' complexes that were also home to shows to be seen, restaurants to try, shops to… shop in, a few roller coasters and other thrill rides for the braver folks… Xander even vaguely remembered hearing something about one hotel having an aquarium with sharks, although he couldn't remember which for the life of him. All sorts of exciting things to see and do and that was before they even began ducking into the actual standalone buildings that housed stores and attractions of their own. So they'd grabbed their wallets, armed themselves with what little they thought they could sneak through security, and set off in search of fun or - at the very least - a way to kill half an hour.

From there? As best he could remember, there'd been some gambling, some showgirls, a lot of drinking, and now he was waking up… somewhere. And while he had a throbbing headache, it was definitely far smaller than it should have been considering how much he'd drunk - or remembered drinking - the night before. Note to self: send Willow a present for the anti-hangover potion, even if it hadn't worked perfectly. And one for Faith, too, for stealing said potion out of the top drawer of her dresser.

Turning his head slightly to one side, Xander cracked his remaining eye open and peered over at the alarm clock. 9:42. And considering there was sunlight filtering in through the closed curtains, Xander was pretty sure it was 9:42 AM and not 9:42 PM. Idly, he wondered if he'd still be charged for that hotel room he'd never checked into. Did it really matter, though? He wasn't paying for the hotel either way. The Council was financing his forced vacation. So a little annoyed part of him reveled in the waste of money… before he remembered that while the current Council had recovered most of its predecessor's assets and found a few wealthy donors to supplement that, they weren't Tony Stark rich or anything and he started feeling guilty again.

Then the little devil on his shoulder started poking him with his tiny pitchfork to get his attention and Xander wondered… should he? After all, they were the ones who'd sent him on this entirely unwanted - even if it was to somewhere cool - vacation of his. 'You're working too hard, Xander.' 'You need a life outside of the school, Xander.' 'We're worried you're going to show up on _Dateline_ if you keep hanging around nothing but teenage girls, Xander.' So one afternoon he'd headed over to Cleveland Hopkins to 'pick up several new students arriving at the airport', only to have his companion for the ride wait until they were parked before jabbing him with one of the darts they usually reserved for the local weres. He'd woken up next to her in a first class seat aboard a rumbling jet as it descended into Las Vegas. How she'd managed to wrestle his body past the TSA was probably a story in itself, but he'd been too annoyed to ask at the time. And now he was waking up in a strange hotel room after a night he could barely remember.

Suddenly, Xander realized that he didn't actually need to recall the events of the previous evening before to know some of what he'd done. While it was a sensation he hadn't had the pleasure of enjoying since the fall of Sunnydale, he did remember what it felt like to have another warm body in his bed. And hey, if the body was warm, it meant he was doing better than Buffy when it came to the romance department. Wow, that was catty, he mused. Maybe the others were right about him spending too much time around nothing but teenage girls…

The mystery woman let out a soft groan before rolling over out of his blind spot and throwing an arm across his body, snuggling in against him. Xander blinked, peering curiously at the blonde head resting on his chest, when the impossible happened and the process repeated itself from the other side. Pinned on his back by two softly snoring women, Xander looked down and wondered exactly what the hell he'd gotten up to the night before. Or dare he say… into?

Lifting the sheet up a little provided at least something in the way of answers. Under the covers lay a hot naked blonde and her hot naked brunette friend, with a not-so-hot naked Xander in the middle. But hey! Even as a scarred pirate man, he still had it! He took another peek. Oh yeah, he still had it. Giggity giggity, giggity goo. Alright.

Xander let the sheet drop back to lie atop them as he went back to staring at the two heads resting on his chest. The hot naked blonde was pale, albeit not quite as pale as him or one of his Slayers, and looked to be a bit younger than her companion. They made quite the contrast, actually, with the older girl's tanned skin and black hair, and a slightly severe look to her features that didn't fade completely even when she was asleep. It took him a minute to realize why she evoked a sense of familiarity; she vaguely reminded him of General Buffy from their final days in Sunnydale, although thankfully without the skeletal figure that would make a model want to run off to go purge some more. He could feel a goodly-sized pair of breasts pressing against his side and his scattered memories of the night before included some of a very nice, plump ass. She was just as bossy as General Buffy, though, not that he'd minded at the time.

His eyes wandered around the room, wondering exactly where he was and how to get out of there. And he needed to find his clothes some time before he attempted to solve the latter question, obviously. Suddenly, his gaze locked onto the red and black jumpsuit thrown over the back of the desk chair, a compound bow and purple quiver of arrows sitting on the floor beside it. There was also a one-shouldered purple top hanging half-off the top of the desk, looking as if gravity might win out at any moment and send it plunging to the floor. More memories surfaced and Xander suddenly remembered the brunette dressed in that top and matching pants, using the bow to put an arrow through a vampire's heart at impressive distance. And the blonde displaying some bizarre growth power and actually stepping on a chaos demon. Oh snap. Had he gotten tag-teamed by superheroines? Not that he recognized either of them, but still, C or D-list superheroines were still superheroines.

Trapped between the two lovely young ladies, Xander debated whether he should flee before they woke up or not. The last thing he wanted was to find out how good the brunette was with that bow of hers, or have the blonde get mad because he took advantage of her while she was drunk and step on him as payback. Although technically he'd been drunk too and they could have been the ones taking advantage of him. Still… supergirls. And despite Faith and Dawn's empty platitudes to the contrary, he was fully aware - and accepting - of the fact that he was the group's Token Average Guy. Did he really want to risk sticking around to try and talk to them, no matter how hot they were? Because on one hand, if they woke up happy about the night before? There was the potential for an encore, which he'd actually be able to remember because he wasn't drunk anymore. On the other hand, if they woke up mad at him? His not-so-super self was in serious trouble. Hell, not even a Slayer would be able to stand up to being stomped on by a size hundred foot…

Letting his head flop back against the pillow, Xander stared up at the ceiling. And blinked. And then he blinked again. There was a naked woman clinging to the ceiling just out of reach of the fan's blades, her red hair flowing down beneath her head like a comet's tail. This was starting to get ridiculous. Had he nailed Spider-Man's daughter or niece or something too? What was next, a 'Black Kitten' popping out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and nothing more after taking a shower?

His gaze shot over as something moved in the corner of his vision, but luckily the bathroom door remained immobile. He let out a sigh of relief and gave the woman on the ceiling another look before returning his attention to the biggest problem. Mainly, the two women pinning him to the bed. Plans A, B, C, and D all failed to extricate him from their joint grasp and he was preparing to implement Plan E when something shiny caught his attention. There was a simple silver ring around the ring finger of his left hand. His index finger was home to a similar ring made of gold, while his middle was occupied by a platinum band. When the hell had he turned into Mister T? 'I pity da foo who wakes up and can't remember his hot superheroine foursome!' Wait. Mister T wore all gold jewelry so the comparison didn't quite work. Still. What in the world?

After a few seconds of staring at his new bling, Xander returned his attention to the problem at hand that wasn't on his hand, slowly wiggling his way out of the brunette's almost possessive grasp before gently rolling the blonde over him so he was on the outside and the two mystery women were left together in the middle of the bed. Almost immediately, the brunette shifted onto her back and the blonde snuggled in against her with her head resting on the brunette's chest, making Xander raise an eyebrow. Their actions spoke of a certain degree of familiarity. Did they go around doing this a lot? Then again, even if they were lovers… how did that explain the rings on his fingers?

Limping over towards the desk in hopes that his clothes were among those scattered on and around it, Xander's eye swept back and forth as he cataloged a number of useless things. Tiny coffee pot, tiny packet of coffee for said coffee pot, the requisite overpriced bottles of water, a lamp, a blue network cable for the laptop that was still in his car somewhere that wasn't here, his iPhone, two iPhones that weren't his, and… three very tacky-looking bouquets of roses? Sitting neatly in a row behind three separate, very official-looking pieces of paper? Xander gulped. He had a bad feeling about this.

And so, in true Scooby fashion, he opted to indulge in the fine art of avoidance. Picking up his iPhone, Xander pulled up his contacts and poked his way down the alphabetical list until he found the Slayer he was looking for. Two pokes later, the screen switched to show her name, photo, and a variety of other buttons along with one very important word: 'calling…'.

_'Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna think anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor. Stop calling, stop calling, I don't wanna talk anymore. I left my head and my heart on the dance floor…'_

Sighing, Xander pulled the phone away from his head and was about to hit the End Call button when her ringback tone looped and a faint but identifiable ringtone likewise restarted from… the other side of the wall? Crossing the room, Xander pressed his ear to the wall for confirmation. While her phone's ringbacks served as a technological mood ring, varying to match her current state of mind or activity - Lady GaGa was her 'cruising the strip' ringback, evidently - almost everyone at the school had the same damnable _VeggieTales_ song set as the ringtone for when he called and even with a wall in the way, he could clearly recognize the familiar tune of 'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything'. So unless someone had stolen her cell phone and just so happened to have ended up in the room next door? He'd apparently found his missing Slayer.

Fabric brushing against his feet made Xander look down and he perked up. He'd also found his missing pants.

Ending the call, Xander scooped up his boxers and pants, tugging them on before sliding his phone into the pocket of his pants and wandering back over to the desk. With two problems solved, he should probably address the largest remaining one, he reckoned: the flowers and paperwork. But since he could stall more… he did. Or at least he tried to. He'd left his computer on in his office, which meant all his incoming mail was being filtered into subfolders… and someone had tinkered with the Exchange server to lock his phone out of several 'business'-related ones. Grr.

He read and deleted a few apologetic emails from lesser members of the conspiracy, stared at his empty inbox for a moment, and then sighed. Okay. No more stalling. Because while part of him was afraid to look, another part of him realized that if they woke up and he didn't even know their names, he'd be in for an even more severe ass-kicking than he already was. Unless he ran now, which he knew he wasn't going to do. He wasn't Parker the Wonder Douche. So, after taking a deep breath, he closed the remaining distance between him and the desk and scooped up all three pieces of paper.

Alexander Lavelle Harris and Katherine Beatrice Bishop

Alexander Lavelle Harris and Cassandra Eleanor Lang.

Alexander Lavelle Harris and Rebekah Julia Drew.

Huh. Well, he knew from previous visits that Utah was a nice place to live this time of year…


	2. When Kate Woke Up

Joe's Note: Here's a note that's useful to have: everything in this story has been pushed forward to take place in the modern day. Because… yes, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ ended in 2003. _Young Avengers_ wasn't too far behind it. This story is set roughly two years after 'Chosen', making it a year beyond the end of _Angel: the Series_. But the question is… does it really matter if this story takes place in 2005 or 2011? Really? I mean, it's not like it's a period piece. So yeah, expect modern technology, pop culture, and events. Also, for the sake of the story, all of the Young Avengers are 18 or older for moral and legal reasons. Cassie being barely so, as we're about to find out.

* * *

Kate Bishop groaned as she drifted just far enough into wakefulness to be aware of her pounding headache and far too dry mouth. Letting out another groan, she turned her head just enough to bury her face in her pillow, keeping her eyes closed tight. After all, she knew from past experience that the light would only make things worse for her. Hindsight was a bitch, she mused: it was easy to realize you'd drunk too much when you were suffering from a killer hangover. Not that hangovers were anything new to her, but Kate hadn't woken up feeling quite this bad in a long while. Not since she'd gotten into the chocolate rum her father brought home from one of his 'business trips'-slash-cruises to St. Thomas, if she recalled correctly. Although in her own defense, that one totally hadn't been her fault. It should be illegal to make liquor that tasted like hot chocolate and went down just as smoothly, leading her to drink an entire bottle in one sitting. Definitely not her fault, and that was her story and she was sticking to it.

Looking back at the events that had led to her being in this position, Kate tried to figure out when everything had gone to hell. Things had started simply enough: she'd sat down to plan out a nice long weekend in Las Vegas for the team so they could burn off some excess stress. After the whole mess with the Kree and Skrull fighting over Teddy, Tommy managing to blow up most of the United Nations building, and the emergence of a group that seemed to be the Young Masters of Evil to their Young Avengers - and who'd managed to create an unholy amount of chaos despite their almost total lack of brains or brawn - one villain had followed another until it was nearly two years after Iron Lad had assembled his initial group to help him fight his adult self.

Now, between spandex and the real world, most of them were skating perilously close to the point of burnout and so when Cassie's eighteenth birthday had begun creeping closer on the calendar, Kate had jumped on it as the perfect excuse to get out of town and off her feet for a bit. Tommy and Eli had immediately begged off citing a prior commitment - something about tickets to a UFC bout and since when did they even hang out together? - and Vision had opted to remain behind to monitor the city in their absence. The other girls had been enthusiastic, though, and a rather unexpected bit of magic had allowed her to keep Air Billy as her airline of choice even after declaring it to be a 'girls' weekend'. So, meeting early on Thursday morning at the former Bishop Publishing warehouse, the four girls had joined Billy and Teddy in teleporting off to the Entertainment Capital of the World to see what they could see.

The sextet had spent most of Thursday and Friday prowling Las Vegas as a group, the majority of their time wasted wandering around the town sightseeing and doing typically touristy things. Friday had ended with Cassie's eighteenth birthday party, including a cake topped with the prototype for the Stature action figure that would be part of the upcoming series of Young Avengers toys - and boy was Eli going to feel stupid for arguing against that idea when they got their first royalty check. As Saturday dawned, they indulged in a bit more sightseeing as a group before Billy and Teddy had taken off to parts unknown for some 'them time'. Since none of them had been too keen on trying to tag along for that, it had left the four girls of the Young Avengers to try and find their own entertainment for the rest of the day.

The 'four girls' bit had been a secondary reason behind Kate's push to get the group away from the Big Apple for the weekend. While originally it'd just been her and Cassie representing the fairer sex on the team, the Young Avengers had recently picked up two new members roughly a month apart as the Avengers exercised a clause in the Young Avengers' operating agreement that allowed them to place other up and coming superhumans on the team. And so despite the team's objections about not needing any additional members, let alone one that didn't even know, Laura Kinney - who occasionally responded to 'Talon' in the field when she was willing to listen at all - had arrived at the warehouse two months ago with a small duffle bag full of clothes and a large chip on her shoulder. Barely four weeks later, Kate had accompanied Billy and Teddy on a trip to the top of the Daily Bugle building, where they'd been met by Spider-Man along with not one, but two Spider-Women. While Kate had absolutely no idea how either of the Spider-Women usually behaved, Spider-Man had seemed uncharacteristically brisk and serious as they handed over the Young Avengers' new ninth member: Rebekah Drew, also known as Spider-Girl.

She still wasn't sure what to make of the girl. Either girl, for that matter. For the team, Laura was pretty much the personification of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. While on one hand she was about as socially adept as the chess club president at ESU and seemed to loathe anything even remotely related to authority, she was also a highly-trained former assassin with a healing factor that made her nigh indestructible and adamantium claws that could only be stopped by materials their rogue's gallery didn't have access to. So while she got on with the rest of the Young Avengers like oil and water, they needed her even if they didn't want her.

Rebekah, on the other hand, not only played well with others but was an amazing asset in the field. Her powers seemed to be a mix of the two Spider-Women who'd been there when the girl was foisted off on them, or at least they were according to Rebekah herself: superhuman speed, strength, durability, agility, and reflexes common to both women, along with the first Spider-Woman's 'venom blasts' and the second Spider-Woman's 'psionic webbing', both of which came manifested as blue energy rather than the yellowish-green and pinkish-purple of the respective Spider-Women's abilities. To top it off, she could crawl walls like every other spider hero and wriggle her way into all sorts of odd little places to go where none of the others could. On paper, she and Laura were just what the Young Avengers needed to shore up the team when heavy-hitters came knocking.

When the masks came off at the end of the day, though? Rebekah… well, the others liked her well enough, so Kate couldn't put her into the same category as Laura. And if Kate was honest with herself, the the biggest reason behind her dislike of the redhead was vanity. To be exceedingly shallow, Rebekah was too pretty to be a superhuman in Kate's opinion, especially a teenage one. While Emma Frost and Sue Richards were both gorgeous women, and a handful of others like Wanda Maximoff and Janet van Dyne made it possible for _Maxim_ and _GQ_ to print yearly 'hottest heroines' rankings, they were the exception rather than the rule. Kate knew that, while pretty, she definitely wasn't in the same league as them… but at the same time she'd been the closest thing the Young Avengers had to a sex symbol, especially with Cassie being underaged up until Friday. She'd initially worried about Laura challenging her for that spot before finding out that not only was the girl younger than she looked but that the mutant cared little about her own appearance in day to day life.

But now? Now, it wasn't even a competition. Rebekah had shown up and blown her right out of the water. Rich red hair and green eyes complimented her pale, creamy skin far better than Kate's black hair and blue eyes looked with a fake tan, and when it came to their figures… Kate was curvy, but Rebekah left her so far in the dust it was ridiculous. She stole all the attention that Kate herself was used to receiving - both within the group and from outsiders - and that just didn't sit right with her. Grr.

It just wasn't fair that someone would be blessed with both the looks of a younger Mary Jane Watson and phenomenal superhuman powers, while Kate had neither. Not to mention that how Rebekah had ended up looking like a teenage version of a Victoria's Secret Angel was just one of the questions that Spider-Man and the Spider-Women had refused to answer about their new teammate. She was a mystery, and Kate didn't like mysteries. Mysteries tended to blow up in your face and betray the group and try to end the world. Cough cough, Wanda Maximoff, cough cough.

In Las Vegas, Kate had discovered a new facet of the greater Rebekah mystery that she also lacked an answer for. Even in a town full of showgirls, escorts, strippers, high rollers, trophy wives, and celebrities, where Kate had thought guys might eventually begin to develop an immunity to being manipulated by a woman's physical charms, Rebekah cut through men's willpower like butter. Without the redhead, even Kate received little in the way of special treatment despite her father's wealth and her open status as a member of the Young Avengers. As soon as Rebekah made an appearance, though, better tables suddenly became available, sold-out shows developed VIP seats for the quartet if they wanted them, and men tripped over themselves in their haste to cater to Rebekah's whims…

Last night, it had gotten them into a packed club with a line outside that stretched clear down the block. Kate vaguely remembered sulking with a beer as she brooded over how she wouldn't have been able to make the bouncer swoon over her like Rebekah had. Then she'd had another beer, followed by a third, and then danced with Cassie, some guy with brown hair… then there was a fourth beer, and things after that were too blurry to remember. She was awful achy, though, and not in a 'been in a fight' way. A very familiar set of aches. What had she gotten into last night? Or rather, what had gotten into her?

Cracking her eyes open, Kate found herself staring at a very familiar face, something that could have been entirely innocent if not for the sensation of Cassie's little furnace of a body pressing against her bare skin. "Oh, not again…" Wiggling away until the blonde surrendered her grip on her body, Kate reached over and snatched a pair of vials off the nightstand, sparing a look at the clock as she went. 10:03 AM. It wasn't quite late enough that the others would be getting alarmed yet but given her notorious early riser status, it was pretty damn close. She had to wake up Cassie and go find Rebekah and Laura as soon as possible, or else she'd be stuck giving awkward explanations to… oh wait, Eli wasn't here to get on her back about anything. Still. They didn't have to shine, but it was definitely time to rise. Popping the top off one vial, she chugged the blue liquid down, blessing whoever had donated the programming that gave their Vision the ability to create such an effective hangover cure, before opening the other vial and tipping it into Cassie's mouth. "Drink up, short stuff. You're a giant-sized pain in the ass when you wake up hungover."

There was a loud cough from the end of the bed and Kate tried to focus her eyes and find the source. A man was sitting on what Kate remembered to be a rather uncomfortable desk chair, holding some papers in his hand. He was wearing only a pair of wrinkled pants and a black eye patch over his left eye. "So, is this a regular problem for you?"

Kate blinked a few times to make sure she was really seeing what she thought she was, before moving to sit with her back against the headboard. The sensation of cool wood against her bare back reminded her of her lack of clothing and she quickly yanked a pillow over her chest, Cassie providing a bit more cover when she whined softly and moved to hug one of Kate's legs, resting her head in the older girl's lap. There was a guy in their room… why was there a guy in their room? Damn. He was between her and her weapons, too… actually, he had her weapons and so if she tried to go hand-to-hand with him, she risked getting smacked with one of her own battle staves or jabbed with an arrow. Plus she'd be giving him one hell of a show in the time between when she left the bed and when she got smacked or stabbed. On the other hand, he wasn't trying to kill them yet and he didn't seem too dangerous, and so Kate decided it wasn't time to panic… yet. Oh wait. He'd had a question. She should probably answer it. "Um… me and Cass?" He looked confused, and she pointed to the girl in bed with her. "That's Cass. Cassie. My name is Kate. Cass and I… have had some incidents when she stays over and we raid the liquor cabinet. The pirate guy… that's new though." There was a creak from above, and Kate looked up just in time to see a naked body drop from the ceiling to land next to her on the side Cassie wasn't occupying. "…the hell?"

"I'm guessing that she's Rebekah, then?" He chuckled softly as the girl in question let out a snort and mimicked Cassie, wrapping her arms around Kate's free leg and snuggling in so that her face was mere inches away from Cassie's. "Well… unless we picked up a fourth girl last night and my third wife ran away… that kinda makes her Rebekah by process of elimination." He looked down and shuffled through the papers in his hands. "Rebekah Julia Drew. Holy crap, she's only nineteen?" He flipped through the papers frantically. "You're… twenty-one. That's not so bad. Oh God, she's only eighteen!" He gaped and pointed at Cassie. "She's only been legal since Friday? Oh man, I am so going to hell."

It took Kate a minute to process all that and there was no situation that her mind could come up with that would make any of this turn out well. "Third wife? What, are you one of those creepy Utah polygamists who decided to cheat on his harem? Who are you and how do you know stuff about us?"

The man stood up and approached the bed, holding out the papers in his hand. "No to the Utah guy question, I put these in order by time which makes Rebekah the third wife, and I know a little about you because it's on the marriage certificates. My name is Xander Harris… and somehow I ended up marrying all three of you last night."

Without even meaning to, Kate's eyes dropped down to stare at her left hand. And sure enough, there was a ring on her finger. That finger. A very pretty gold ring set with three diamonds, and it hadn't been there the last time she'd checked.

"What the f-"


	3. When Kate Woke Me Up

Joe's Note: Once again, for those of you who are tuning in because you're fans of mine and not because you're diehard fans of the Young Avengers:  
**Kate Bishop (Hawkeye):** Pretty much what she sounds like to anyone the least bit familiar with the classic Avengers - a chick with a bow and the skill to use it.  
**Cassie Lang (Stature):** The daughter of Scott Lang, the second Ant-Man, who has his powers because she stole Pym Particles from his rooms while visiting the Avengers' mansion and used them on herself.  
**Rebekah Drew (Spider-Girl):** An original character who has a mix of Jessica Drew and Julia Carpenter's powers, along with the looks of Mary Jane Watson and a mysterious origin.  
**Laura Kinney (Talon):** She's a canon character, albeit not a canon Young Avenger, and a 'clone' created using a damaged DNA sample of Wolverine, giving her all his powers… and breasts.

* * *

Neither Cassie Lang nor Rebekah Drew was what could be considered a morning person. For them, the day didn't properly start until around noon. Several supervillains had learned the hard way that it was ill-advised to start a crime spree before noon because if one, much less both, of the girls had to get out of bed before they were ready to… well, there wasn't a term to properly describe the world of hurt the villain was going to be in when the Young Avengers responded. Accordingly, neither girl was especially happy to be woken up by an exceedingly loud burst of profanity. Rebekah even less so, given said loud profanity spooked her into rolling over the side of the bed and landing with a thump on the floor.

Cassie rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she sat up, looking around the room before coming face to face with a naked Kate. Or at least Cassie assumed she was naked behind the pillow she was using to cover herself. She shook her head in dismay. "Again? Well, you did get drunk last night. Guess I can't say I'm that surprised." Rebekah picked that moment to sit up, head poking up over the edge of the bed. "And you? Jeeze. Did we bring Laura back to our room too?" After looking around to reassure herself that such was not the case - and capable of processing only one thing at a time in her sleepy state - she turned her attention back to Kate. "Okay, why the heck are you shouting four letter words at… I don't even know what time it is but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be awake at it."

"Well, I'm pretty sure it's because of me." That was a male voice and someone unfamiliar to Cassie at that. Who the heck was- "Although I'm not sure which part she's more upset about: the fact that I'm here and in your room or the fact that it looks like we all got married while drunk last night."

Cassie turned her attention to the speaker and barely managed to keep from drooling at the sight that greeted her. Tall, tanned, fairly muscular in a good way without crossing over into that creepy bodybuilder look, and - best of all - shirtless. Granted he had a few scars, but they seemed more macho than ugly to her and even the black patch covering one eye was more mysterious than freakish. Before she could say anything, though, Rebekah summed her thoughts up for her rather effectively: "Holy hot pirate guy, Batman!"

Chuckling, the stranger reached up to finger his eye patch. "You know, I've had a lot of people make comments about the patch… Adam West _Batman_ reference, though, that's a new one. Points for originality."

"No problem. I like to be a full-service object of obsession: a smoking body and witty to boot." Rebekah stretched and Cassie licked her lips as the motion brought the tops of her teammate's breasts into view above the edge of the bed. Okay, she mused, maybe getting drunk and waking up with Rebekah wasn't quite the disaster she'd initially thought it to be. She was pretty hot, at least as far as drunken pickups went, and if she handled the aftermath better than Kate… well, if the closest thing to a relationship she could manage was repeated random bouts of no-strings attached sex, the one who didn't call her a mistake in the morning - if she didn't just ignore Cassie and flee - was infinitely preferable. Her attention returned to the redhead as Rebekah began twisting and turning before abruptly freezing, slowly tipping her head back to stare upward. "Why do I have fuzzy memories of having sex on the ceiling last night?"

Looking back over his shoulder, the man grimaced. "Well, that would explain the weird red marks on my back that look way too similar to the texturing on the ceiling." Pointing at each of the girls, he listed them off. "Cassie. Kate. Rebekah. Got it. Uh, I'm Xander and I'm your husband."

Cassie looked at her two teammates and then at… Xander? That was certainly an odd name. It was probably short for something. After all, she was Cassie but it was short for Cassandra. Alexander, maybe? Wait. Focus. "Which one of us are you talking to when you say 'your husband'? Me? Or did you marry Kate and I married Bekah? Because I didn't think that was legal, at least out here. Or am Kate and I married, and you married Bekah? Or are you my husband and Kate got stuck with Bekah?" In the middle of crawling back up onto the bed with her teammates, Rebekah let out an indignant noise at the phrase 'stuck with'. "I didn't mean it like that. I just know you and Kate don't get along, and-"

Covering Cassie's mouth with one hand, Kate cut her apology off. "No, he means 'your husband' as in we literally all got married. As a group. Supposedly. According to him, those are marriage certificates from when each of us married him. Hence the incredibly loud 'what the fuck?'."

"No 'supposedly' about it." Xander held out the papers in his hand, offering them up to the girls. "If you don't believe me, read them yourselves."

It took the trio a few seconds to sort out the certificates, complete with some snickering by Rebekah over Cassie's middle name, but the three were reasonably bright young women and each one quickly ended up in possession of her own certificate. After taking a second to glance at the silver band on the ring finger of her left hand - a simple, one diamond affair unlike the more ornate ring she'd seen on Kate's hand when the older girl had slapped a hand over her mouth - she looked down at her certificate. "Alexander Lavelle Harris and Cassandra Eleanor Lang at the… Graceland Wedding Chapel? We got married by Elvis? Cool!" Granted her mother and Blake were going to kill her for running off to Vegas and getting married to a stranger while drunk, but at least she'd gotten to enjoy living the entire cliché. Not that she really remembered any of it. So wait. Did it still count? Well, obviously the marriage did, but-

Rebekah peered down at her own certificate for a moment before giggling. "I was about to complain, but never mind. My wedding totally trumps yours. I'll see your Elvis and raise you a Treasure Island pirate ship wedding." Cassie's eyebrows shot up at that and she snatched the certificate out of Rebekah's hands to see if she was lying. She wasn't. Damn. That sounded even cooler than Elvis! As the blonde continued to pore over the details of her teammate's certificate, Rebekah stretched and let out a little whine before sprawling out on her stomach. Then she snickered, drawing Cassie's attention as Rebekah peered back over her shoulder. "Well, I guess that makes it a bit more appropriate." Furrowing her brow, Cassie tried to figure out what the hell Rebekah was talking about, the older girl eventually taking pity on her and explaining. "Evidently I surrendered the booty last night."

That one, Cassie could figure out on her own. After a few seconds. Eww. Oww. Eww. Cassie glanced over at Kate, seeing a matching look of disgust on her friend's face even as she inspected her own wedding certificate. "And since I think we could use a change of topic here… I got married in a helicopter. I think that trumps both of you."

Letting out a snort, Rebekah took her certificate back from Cassie and waved it at Kate. "Helicopters aren't really that interesting when you know people who can fly you around with their powers, Kate. Besides, my wedding's theme matched our husband better."

Xander chuckled at that, drawing all their attention. "Sorry, I just get so many pirate jokes where I work that it is kinda funny that my drunken Vegas wedding - or at least one of them - was a pirate wedding. Or at least it is to me." The trio continued to stare at him and he pantomimed zipping his lips. "Shutting up now before you step on me, or shoot me with an arrow, or… do something superspiderpowered to me."

Startled, the three girls exchanged looks before focusing on Xander and blurting out the same question in perfect synch. "You know who we are?"

"Well, it was kinda obvious after my head cleared enough for me to rub two brain cells together. Or rub two brain cells together and then use Google. After all, you guys have a website, a fan club, and show up on different news sites at least once a week." Cassie watched as Xander bent down, retrieving something from the floor. Her jumpsuit? "Stature. Height multiplication and division." He tossed it her way and then leaned down again, coming up with the purple top and pants of Kate's costume. "Hawkeye. I think. The girls at school have a thousand nicknames for you; Hawkeye, Knightress, Hawkingbird, Weapon Woman, Kitchen Sink, and Raisinette are their favorites. I've also got your bow, quiver, battle staves, sword, and utility belt here which pretty much sums up what you can do." Opting to keep Kate's toys for the time being, Xander tossed the two pieces of her costume at the bed before looking down at his feet and furrowing his brow. "I'm… not entirely sure what happened to your costume, Rebekah. But, well, the ceiling thing is pretty damning proof. I wasn't quite sure who you were at first, but if you're running with these two, I'm guessing you're the new Spider-Girl who's a part of the Young Avengers."

Letting out a low whistle, Rebekah propped herself up on one elbow and pointed at Xander with her free hand. "You know, he may be a norm but we should totally team up with him and launch a coup for control of the group. I mean, he's obviously smarter than Eli. And hey Kate! We now have spare identities for you for when the real Hawkeye inevitably rises from the dead and wants his schtick back. Can I put in a vote in favor of 'Raisinette'?"

That just elicited a roll of Kate's eyes, who swatted the back of Rebekah's head before addressing Xander. "Well, see, that makes for a whole new set of problems. I don't exactly hide my identity, but Cassie and Bekah do. We can't have you wandering around telling people who we are. I guess we're going to have to bring you with us so we can keep an eye on you until we trust you more-"

Rebekah stopped rubbing the back of her head, her petulant expression abruptly shifting to thoughtfulness. "Or… maybe the two of you could get annulments and I could stay behind with him after you leave to make sure he doesn't tell anyone?" That earned her two odd looks and she shrugged, doing her best to look innocent. "Well, you have families who might notice if you're dragging a husband around. Unless you're planning to stash him at the warehouse, that is. I, on the other hand, don't. Besides, it's not like you want me around anyways, Kate."

"I think it's more than that. You're trying to make it sound like you want to help me and Kate, but… you don't want an annulment, do you?" Cassie looked down at her marriage certificate again. Not that she minded the offer, because Rebekah was right: her mother was going to flip shit worse than when she'd found out about Cassie being Stature. But still. She got the distinct feeling she was being manipulated and that rankled just on general principle.

A low chuckle emerged from Rebekah, who shot Xander an unreadable look before turning her attention back to Cassie. "Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Fine, you want me to be honest? I'm trying to get rid of you and Kate for several reasons. Least of which being that I got fucked rotten last night and I definitely want to go for an encore. Shit, if I stay with Xander here, I can cancel my membership in the Sex Toy of the Month Club and stop worrying about my share ratio at Cheggit. Although…" The redhead trailed off, looking Cassie up and down slowly before winking at her. "If you want to stick around, I won't complain. The only reason I'm being anti-you is because you and Kate seem to come as a pair." Cassie let out a squeak and ducked her head, hiding her blush behind a curtain of blonde hair. Sure Rebekah was hot and so was Xander, and okay she was sorta interested in Rebekah in a theoretical sense if there was a choice between occasional fun with her and occasional fun followed by awkwardness and regret with Kate… but hopping into bed with two people? One of them a girl? While sober? She was so not ready for anything approaching that.

Xander coughed loudly, using the ensuing silence to force his way into the conversation. "Um, ladies? Do I happen to get a say in… well, any of this? I mean, I get that you're superheroines and think you have bigger things to worry about in your lives than the average person, but I have my own problems and responsibilities back home. I can't just run off to New York because you say so because you're heroes. I have friends, a full-time job that gets fuller when the school year starts back up…"

"You know what? You're absolutely right, Xander." Rebekah looked back and forth between Xander and her two teammates. "You and I should discuss this together. Without them, though, since the annulment plan means they won't be affected by anything we decide and they'd only be in the way while we talk." Rolling off the bed, Rebekah blurred forward and scooped Cassie up, the blonde squealing and thrashing as her superhumanly strong teammate threw her over one shoulder and walked over to the door. Cassie watched with horror as the bed - and her jumpsuit - got further and further away, and then she was being plunked down in the hall. Naked. She stood there motionless in shock until Rebekah dropped an equally naked Kate off next to her. Cassie lunged towards the door, only to be bounced backwards as she ran into Rebekah. "Don't worry, as soon as I convince him to keep me, I'll try and sell him on you." Rebekah winked and gave Cassie a peck on the cheek before pulling back and adopting a thoughtful expression. "Hey, since she's missing, why don't you two try and find Laura while you wait? Make yourselves useful and all." And with that she slammed the door, leaving them standing in the hotel hallway.

Cassie looked down at her naked body and then over at Kate's equally bare form. "We're butt naked and standing in a hotel hallway while our co-wife discusses the future of her marriage - and maybe mine - with our shared husband. Thanks, Kate, this is the best birthday trip ever. Really, have you ever thought about a career as a travel agent? I bet you'd be great at it." The door swung open and Cassie perked up. Had Rebekah realized the lunacy of what she'd just done? A flying object impacted with Cassie's chest and she reflexively caught it before holding it out. It was the sheet from the bed. She waited for something further, but the door slammed shut again.

Taking the sheet, Kate wrapped one arm around Cassie and pulled the reluctant blonde against her slightly taller body before tugging the sheet around to cover them both as best she could. "Well, look at the bright side. We drank ourselves into a polygamous marriage and are standing out in a hallway, but at least we're not naked anymore."

Scowling, Cassie rested her head on Kate's shoulder. "I knew I should have joined the Runaways. Or asked Hank or Janet if they'd ever thought about taking on a Robin…"


	4. Obligatory Exposition

Joe's Note: While there was a chapter similar to this in the first version, I extended it significantly in this rewrite because Rebekah does have a bit more information to convey and has a more complex conversation with Xander. It's actually broken into two parts here to keep things manageable: this chapter and Chapter 6, with Chapter 5 being used to catch up on the other Young Avengers and Xander's companion.

* * *

Xander watched in disbelief as one of his wives hustled the other two out of the room… and God, wasn't that the weirdest thought he'd ever had. Granted, he'd entertained some fleeting thoughts of polygamy during that whole love spell incident, and who wouldn't dream about keeping a few when every woman in town was trying to get in your pants? Hell, he'd had dreams for months after that about Cordelia having actually fallen under his control due to the spell and him keeping her along with a good half of her fellow cheerleaders as a scantily-clad harem. But that didn't mean he would have ever done something like that in real life. Except… somehow it'd ended up happening. So evidently, it did mean he'd try it in real life. "Uh… Rebekah? Can we do something about their nudity? I don't think we'll get to talk long if someone calls hotel security about the random naked girls roaming the hall."

Snickering, Rebekah grabbed the sheet off the bed and walked back over to the door, opening it before tossing the sheet at her two exiled companions and slamming the door shut again. "You know, it's kinda funny if you think about it. Last night they were three sheets to the wind. Now they're one sheet to the hall." Xander just stared at her and she shrugged before wandering back over to sprawl out on the bed in front of him, utterly unconcerned with her own nudity. "Eh, sounded funnier in my head. Wonder if there's anything in here for me to wear? Although, come to think of it, I wonder when they found time to double back here and change into costume. They started the night in street clothes. Eh, something to ask them later if I actually decide I care. Talk now? Oh, and call me Bekah. Rebekah is what the adults call me when I'm in trouble."

Personally, Xander wasn't too sure if being sheet-clad in the hall was much of an improvement over being naked but he wasn't going to argue with her. Mostly because he actually wanted to get somewhere as far as resolving the entire mess and this was progress. Sorta. Barely. "Okay, so, Bekah… you want to stay married to me for 'several reasons'. Apart from the sex thing - which I'm flattered about, really, I am - let's hear 'em. Because the only way I might ever possibly consider staying with a wife I accidentally picked up while drunk was if she had a really, really good reason why I should." Not that he expected her to have one, but he was a bit curious to hear what she could come up with to be honest.

"Well if the fact that you'd be getting a sexy, superheroine wife with a naughty streak wide enough to make a porn star blush out of the deal isn't a good enough reason for you? Simple." Propping herself up on her elbows, Rebekah rested her chin on her hands and stared up at him, giving him a magnificent view of the tops of her bare breasts. "Do you do what's right or what's easy?"

It took a moment for the question to penetrate Xander's breast-fogged mind but when it did, he didn't even have to think about his answer. Granted he had done a few dubious things in the past, but in general… "What's right, Miss Dumbledore. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, would be getting the annulment so you can go on with your life without being stuck to someone you married as part of a drunken mistake when you were nineteen. And what were you even doing drinking at your age?"

Letting out a snort, Rebekah ran her fingers through her hair as she looked away. "Yeah, well, wait until you hear the full story before you get freaked out by the underage drinking part. And what I'm about to tell you doesn't go outside the room. Kate and Cassie don't know what I'm about to tell you. Outside of a few of the Avengers and one girl on our team, nobody does. You'll be the first non-superhero, period. Am I making myself clear?" Xander nodded his assent and Rebekah took another deep breath before meeting his gaze. "I'm… not actually nineteen years-old. I'm more like two and a half. I'm an artificially aged lab rat baby. As best Mister Fantastic can tell, they took DNA from Jessica Drew - the original Spider-Woman who's an Avenger right now - and blended it with DNA from Julia Carpenter - the black and white Spider-Woman. Then they used the combination to fertilize an egg they'd somehow managed to harvest from Mary Jane Watson. You know, the supermodel? I'm sure it's been nagging at you, why I look so familiar. Everyone I meet comments on it. Kate hates me for it; she misses being the prettiest girl on the team."

Out of all the things that had raced through Xander's mind in the few seconds he had to contemplate what her grand secret was, that wasn't one of them. It was reassuring to know he wasn't going insane, though. He'd had the hugest crush on Mary Jane Watson back in high school and had noticed the resemblance earlier, but had shrugged it off as something to ponder later. After all, one of the Slayers he supervised in Cleveland was a dead ringer for a Hollywood actress, and Willow could have been the twin of that hilarious nympho chick from _American Pie_. With six and a half billion people in the world, sometimes people just looked like each other for no good reason. Then something occurred to him. "Okay, this might be a dumb question here… but if you're two and a half? How can you talk, dance, do… you know, other things…"

"It's hard to explain. Basically, I was programmed. I can only remember my last few days in the lab before I was rescued, but they mentioned 'resetting' me - meaning I'm pretty sure they wiped my mind so a telepath couldn't poke around and find information about who made me - and then they reloaded certain memories. I'm guessing they had access to Jessica Drew at some point because they managed to download all her memories into my head, but on the other hand I know that it's her life and I don't think it was me doing any of those things." Rebekah tapped a finger against her chin as she thought. "Then there's stuff I know isn't hers because it's definitely Julia's, and then there's some that I have no clue who it came from. It's almost like the Matrix. 'I know kung fu' and all that. They did something to me, and then I knew things. Like if you really cared, I could tell you the names of all the coolest pop stars from the last four or five years in order of their hit singles, or the fashion trends for about the same length of time."

Xander nodded, trying to process the fact that the young woman in front of him was the product of something that seemed like a bad science fiction movie, when something horrible occurred to him. "Did they program you to, err, you were pretty wild last night…"

That made Rebekah shake her head, which in turn made her breasts jiggle and distracted Xander to the point of almost missing her answer. "No, and I'm kinda glad there isn't anything like that because… well, think about why they might have had that kicking around in my head, especially since they could memory wipe me at will?" Xander did the two plus two and realized what she was implying before shuddering. Point taken. "They put a lot of effort into flirting and seduction programming, though. Probably because it helps me out with one of my powers… and I should probably stop talking about the whole programming thing because it makes me sound like a creepy robot girl or something. But long story short, I've been sorta building to a boil and last night was my first chance to finally let loose and… well, I guess I just went wild. Not that you seemed to mind."

"Oh. Okay. Wait a minute." Xander's jaw dropped, and it didn't even have anything to do with her planting both hands on the bed and pushing herself up as she arched her back, completely exposing both breasts to him. "Last night was the first time you got to let loose… in a while? Or at all? As in last night being your first time having sex? Because if you lost your virginity to me during drunk sex… I am so, so sorry. I mean, I lost mine to a chick who threw me out of her motel room as soon as we were done, so I know it's not always flower petals, candles, and romance, but you should at least be able to remember doing it."

Rebekah giggled, sliding off the bed and closing the distance between them before sliding into his lap. "I'm not. I mean, I may not remember all of it, but what I can remember? It was fucking awesome. Pun intended. Seriously, even if you do manage to divorce me, I'm going to follow you home just so I can try for another round of that. If I'd known sex was so great, I would have skipped the toys and gone straight for the real thing. Eh, at least it wasn't my money I wasted."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I spent a bit of time at Avengers' Tower since it was neutral and secure territory where I could meet my 'mothers'. Let's just say that for a billionaire who fights crime in a super-advanced suit of armor? Tony Stark really sucks at keeping track of his credit cards. And his admin and I got on like a house on fire, so she didn't tip him off until after I was gone." Leaning forward, Rebekah pressed her chest against his as she snuggled in to rest her head on his shoulder. "So, how about it? Hot young wife who will give you lots of sex, enjoys casual nudity, and can lift your entire car into the air so you can work underneath it. How can you pass that up?"

Arms instinctively wrapping around Rebekah's body, Xander hesitated for a moment as he stared down over her shoulder at her amazing ass, and then slid his hands up to rest in safer territory: her back. The phone started ringing and Xander relaxed his arms a bit so she could pull away, but when she made no move to go and answer it, he mentally shrugged and tightened his grip. "I'm still waiting for you to tell me where the 'right or easy' part comes into this, you know. So you're a lab baby. I came from two people who should have been neutered to keep them from reproducing. And my friends in high school? My best friend Willow spent roughly three hundred and fifty days a year living alone in her house, Buffy's parents divorced right before she came to Sunnydale, and Cordelia's parents ditched her and ran for the border when the IRS came calling about their unpaid taxes. We all have our issues."

Rebekah pulled back a bit, staring at him with an incredulous look on her face. "Are you serious? Fine. You want to know why I want to stay married to you? Because I don't want to run around with the Young Avengers anymore but, to be incredibly unladylike for a moment, I'm fucking stuck with these idiots. The Avengers are so set in their ways, they can't comprehend that I'm not Jessica Junior or Julia Junior. That I might want to go to college and make friends and get a degree and find a job, instead of stuffing myself into spandex and running around saving the world. Or the city. Whichever. And so they grabbed me and this teenage girl version of Wolverine and stuffed us into the Young Avengers so they'd only need to spy on one team instead of monitoring the Young Avengers and Laura and me all separately. Well, that and they think I need help adjusting to the present day. My memories of being nineteen are from… yeah, let's just say America was on the original four space shuttles and leave it at that. More than a few years out of date. I know pop culture from the last few years so I can sorta kinda blend in, but I'm about as smooth as a Terminator when it comes to hanging out with people my own age. Definite adult-in-a-teen-body syndrome. They thought me spending time with other superteens would help. Although why I'm a Young Avenger and not at the X-Mansion is beyond me. Especially since that's where Laura was hanging out before she got shipped down to New York City." The phone stopped ringing for a few seconds before starting anew and she growled, thrusting out one fist and unleashing a blue blast of energy that destroyed the plastic annoyance. "There. All quiet now. Where were we?"

"I was at 'not seeing how me letting throw your life away with me is the right thing to do', but I've since moved on to being a little scared of you on top of that."

* * *

Emerging from the bathroom, Jenny Altman scowled as she padded over to the bed, tugging at the back of her panties all the while. She could never quite tell what the problem was: were they supposed to feel like this and she wasn't used to it because she wasn't really a girl, or had she grown her ass too big for her underwear again? She looked over at where her boyfriend-turned-girlfriend was holding up two different pairs of earrings as she looked back and forth between them. She hadn't seen Anya having such problems so far on this vacation… which was a little weird when Jenny thought about it. Sighing, she looked down at the t-shirt and skirt laying on the bed waiting for her. "Remind me again why Jenny and Anya came along for the weekend instead of Teddy and Billy?"

Without looking away from where she was debating between pentacle earrings and a pair of ruby pendants, Anya Kaplan responded to her boyfriend's query. "Well for one, how many men did you see in the audience of American Storm or Thunder from Down Under?" Jenny blinked; why the hell would she have been paying attention to fellow audience members at two of Vegas's best all-male reviews? "Secondly, after the others ducked out, it went from a 'team weekend' to a 'girls' weekend' and so Billy and Teddy would have stood out a bit. And finally, you told me you used to do it and what better place to satisfy my curiosity than where what happens stays? Besides, like I said, you've turned into a girl before. To make guys like you, if I remember correctly. So if anyone should be complaining about feeling weird like this, it's me. Am I complaining, Jenny?"

"Well no, but-"

"Then should you be complaining, Jenny?"

"I guess not, but-"

"Alright then." Selecting the pair of pentacle earrings in her left hand, Anya placed the other earrings on the desk and began the delicate process of putting them on. Jenny was mildly impressed; Anya had actually managed to shift into a form with pierced ears, while Jenny usually just pushed them through her ear and then let her enhanced healing take care of repairing things. When she was done, Anya stood up and ran her fingers through her mane of black curls before gesturing to her body. "There. How do I look?"

Jenny stared at Anya in helpless confusion, not having any clue what the right answer to that question might be. She didn't look at girls. Well, she obviously looked at them because otherwise she'd constantly be running in to half the population of the planet, but it wasn't like she'd ever considered them on an attractiveness level or even an aesthetic one, and so she had no way of judging whether or not Anya looked pretty today or was a train wreck on two legs. "Erm… like a girl?"

Whatever the right answer was, judging by the withering glare Anya shot her, that wasn't it. "You're so helpful sometimes. Anyways, hurry up and get dressed. While you were in the shower, I called down to the both of the girls' rooms - called Kate's twice, even - and even tried Kate's cell. Nothing. And it's after ten. I'm getting a little worried. She should have swung by to drag us out running or something by now."

Offering a little salute followed by a sarcastic eye roll, Jenny tugged the purple t-shirt on before tossing the black and purple tartan skirt on the floor so she could pull it on. Inwardly, though, she was analyzing and then rejecting Anya's worries. Granted she didn't know Laura very well and her knowledge of Rebekah was limited to shallow, superficial things because the redhead didn't tend to let others in… but they were with Cassie and - above all - Kate. How much trouble could they have possibly gotten themselves into?


End file.
